Scott and Cindi Visit

My Uncle Scott and Aunt Cindi came to visit this past weekend. They were on their way through Houston to celebrate their anniversary on the coast. It was great to introduce them to Maxwell!

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Why I Gave Birth Naturally

I have really enjoyed other mom's birth stories, but never got around to writing out my experience with Dexter.  I was probably distracted by reflux and all the new challenges a first time mom faces.  But, this time around, I want to share Maxwell's birth story.  For both Dexter and Maxwell I gave birth with midwives without any interventions.  This really effected how the births progressed and my experience (obviously!), so I thought I would let you know how I got to this place.

I didn't just wake up and think, "today I want to feel as much pain as possible when I give birth".  In fact, it was really a gradual process that led me to the midwives and then to embracing an intervention-free (well, as much as possible) labor.

I had my regular appointment with my OB/GYN before I got pregnant with Dexter and began to feel uneasy with his office and bedside manner.  He moved to a new office building and the exam rooms we filled with posters of elective, cosmetic procedures.  Hmmm.  This is not the time I want to feel bad about my appearance.  Then, as I began to ask him questions about areas of concern, he brushed me aside totally telling me I couldn't believe everything the internet said.  Totally agreed, that's why I was there asking him to clarify.  Instead of answering, he just tried to make me feel uninformed and unintelligent.  His manner was so off-putting, I knew I never wanted to deliver a baby with him and began my search for a new OB.

I began to ask around, but most women I knew hadn't had babies yet or had pretty bad birth experiences.  I found it difficult as you had to basically choose a doctor based on someone elses recommendation.  By the time you saw the doctor yourself, you weren't really in a place to try them and then move on if you didn't like them.  You either were pregnant and needed consistent care, or you only went in once a year.

This is when I began to think I wanted to find an OB who was at least open to the idea of a natural birth.  I was by no means sold that I wanted to give birth that way, but I figured if I found someone open to it they would be slower to perform some of the harsher interventions my friends experienced.  At the time my friends had experienced rushed inducements that led to fetal distress and emergency c-sections, fourth degree episiotomies (yes...I said FOURTH) because the doctor on call wanted to go home for Thanksgiving lunch, and other unpleasant birth experiences.

All of this led me to fear interventions more than the pain of labor.  I figured labor has a set beginning and end, but the harm from interventions that go wrong could be much more far reaching.

So, here I was calling OBs and speaking to their nurses.  When I asked if they supported natural birth the nurses all said "no".  I thought this was telling.  I could go in and the doctor may say yes to me, figuring I'd change my mind, but the nurses know if anyone actually ends up giving birth that way.  I called the one OB I found online who had great reviews and the nurses said yes, she supported natural birth, but no, she wasn't taking new patients.  What to do...well, they recommended the midwives who worked in the same office as this OB. 

Midwives?  That freaked me out.  I didn't know anything about them.  I was at the end of the line though, so decided to check them out for that year's exam.  This time the exam room wasn't papered with cosmetic procedures, but instead pictures of moms and new babies and thank you notes to the midwives raving about how wonderful their birth experience was.  I saw Theodora and she spent an HOUR with me telling me about their philosophy of care, what to expect, and answering all of my questions with respect.  It was just what I wanted, I felt loved, safe, and respected in mind and body.

So, now I began to research what this natural labor was all about.  I watched the Business of Being Born on netflix a few times and the best thing about that movie was I realized there was more to natural birth than just pain and horror.  Now, I am not the bravest of people when it comes to pain (ask any of my family members how much I complain about paper cuts or other minor pain), but the more I learned through books, classes, and other women, I began to think I might actually be able to do this.

We hit a snag with pre-term labor at 24 weeks (my body didn't do what I had hoped it would), but that was when the beauty of this midwife practice really kicked in.  I was under the more conservative care of the midwives, but was admitted to Texas Childrens/St. Lukes and had all the wonderful care there when my body stepped out of what was "normal".  Thankfully all went well and I was able to give birth with both Dexter and Maxwell without interventions. I wanted to give birth with women I trusted 100%, in a calm atmosphere, with the support of OBs and others should I need them.

I know and fully believe that there are real and good reasons to be induced, to have a c-section, or other interventions...but for me the fear of having these forced on me when they weren't really needed was more frightening than the temporary pain of labor.  This isn't the case for all women.  The way we give birth is often out of our control and one particular way of giving birth doesn't make you a "better" mom in any shape or form!  This was the way I chose, due to several small steps along the way, but it isn't everyone's cup of tea.

Through giving birth naturally I have learned so much about myself and it has even effected other areas of my life.  But, more on that after I share my birth story...

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One Month Picture

Well, I just uploaded a bunch of pictures I took over the past few weeks. Here is Maxwell's "one month" picture. Thought I would take each month's picture with Dexter in the same chair so we can see how he grows.

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My Secret Weapon

We have been blessed with a lot of books and toys these past few months:  Dexter's birthday, relatives in town, Maxwell's birth and "big brother" gifts. Dexter and I have both loved then new additions -- he is entertained and I am very happy he is entertained!

But...all those new additions pile up and the old, now boring toys get thrown around the room, literally. So, I did a little organizing using a tip I learned from the family I babysat for in Aberdeen. She would box up sets of toys and put them away in the closet once the new had worn off and the kids weren't really playing with them. I used to do this about once a month, but with the move and the end of pregnancy (hey, I was happy if I could just kick the loose toys toward a basket at the end of the day those last few weeks!), it just didn't happen.

Making sure the bookshelf if cleaned out and has just the books we are reading/like right now means we read a lot more. When the books are a mess and Dexter can't find the books he wants, he just gives up and asks to watch DVDs. We always read so much more right after I organize the books.

Here is my secret weapon -- the toy closet! Some of these are toys he has grown out of and are waiting for Maxwell, but most are just ones that don't currently interest him.  What is great about this closet, is after a month or so packed away, it seems like a brand new toy when you bring it back out.  Perfect for that end of afternoon fuss fest.  Also, when you go through the toys to pack them away it gives you a chance to put the sets back together, find that missing puzzle piece, and to throw away those old chick-fil-a toys. 

So, with the toys organizing and week two of being on my own,  I decided it was also time to clean out my attitude.  Yes, I can lay on the couch all morning with a DVD on, but the reality is I am not really rested and Dexter isn't really entertained.  So, I peeled myself from the couch, brought out the speakers for the computer, and got the music going.  We have danced, jumped on the bed, played with cars, built a castle out of blocks (and knocked it down a million times), pretend drove to Chick-fil-a, and I have even done a few loads of laundry.  My house is still a disaster (don't even look at the kitchen floor!) and I look like I've been run over by a truck, but we are trying to have more fun today.

I read over the weekend that mom's attitude becomes everyone else's attitude.  Ugh.  I hate to admit that is true because it means I need to change...but it is.  So, I may not be able to see straight and I this may not be the best writing ever, but I am up, trying to have fun, and looking to set a new mood for the house!

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Green

Like father, like son.

Here is Dexter clutching his favorite spoon, the green one. He is loving all things green right now, to Sander's delight.

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On My Own

This week has been my first week with two children on my own. I am so tired already due to getting up multiple times in the night and then not really getting a nap because of dissimilar schedules. Hmmm...I'm sure it will be ok soon.

Maxwell seems to have a characteristic manner too, just like Dexter. Dexter crossed his ankles since he was a baby (still does!). Here's Maxwell's:

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Ray Rescue Crew

Sander's brother and mom arrived Sunday to help out with Maxwell and to play with Dexter. Skyler and Dexter had a great time. Dexter would try as hard as he could to push Skyler over and would "pump his legs" to help get enough oomph...this meant he lifted his back leg and shook it. He also learned to say "wrecking crew!", with the hand sign, and would run as fast as he could to knock Skyler over.

Maxwell isn't quite ready to join the big boys yet...but soon!

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First Bath

Maxwell had his first bath yesterday.  He actually seemed very pleased and contented...at first.  Dexter was happy to have his brother join him...at first.

Does it look like Dexter is taking aim with that bucket, because he is.  2 seconds later, the bucket of water was thrown on Maxwell's face and this sweet, happy scene came to a quick end.  Oh well. It was sweet while it lasted.

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Family Pool Fun

Last week we had a "cool" evening when the breeze was fairly strong, so we decided to head out to the pool. Maxwell came and he and I sat on the side and read while Sander and Dexter swam. I loved it as I got to get out of the house -- finally!

We ate watermelon...

And Maxwell slept the whole time...priceless!

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Reality

This picture is slightly staged...but only slightly!  I have been reading a blog series entitled "a day in the life".  It is a series of posts by bloggers showing what their day to day life really consists of.  Now, I don't think my blog sugar coats things (not even the satan sandwiches!) or has the facade created by splendid photos and tutorials that the real blogs have, but I thought this was a great picture to show what life was like, at least this week.

That's Dexter trying to use his potty.  Right next to the table.  He brought it over to me, absolutely insisting that mommy help him.  Then, he decided to grab my skirt and pull on it as I tried to get Maxwell's medicine ready.  Oh boy...

I know I will look back and just remember the sweet times; the kisses goodbye, the spontaneous running around in circles, the complete joy in being given a chocolate chip cookie and the sweet "thank you, mommy" that resulted...un-prompted, mind you.

But some days need a little sugar coating...

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Lord Peter Wimsey to the Rescue

Lord Peter Wimsey, you are keeping me sane. 

Somehow I never read Dorothy Sayers' Lord Peter Wimsey mystery books before this year.  I picked up Have His Carcase at my parent's house over the holidays and was hooked.  About this same time, a friend of mine who is getting her master's in English Literature, named her son Elliott Sayer.  I asked if it was after Dorothy Sayers, and it was!  She has all the books and suggested I borrow them to read in order after I had my baby.  She said it helped stave off postpartum depression for her...and so far it is for me as well.  They are the perfect combination of Hurcule Poirot and Jeeves and Wooster (which I have always loved!).  They keep my mind engaged and challenge me mentally, but also have that British wit that keeps things from getting too serious. 

I am actually glad to be awake some nights nursing so I can read a few more pages.

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Relief Team A and Paternity Leave

 

Relief Team A (A for Andrews!) was made up of my mom and some help by my older and younger sisters.  My mom arrived the day I gave birth, and only just left Saturday (with a brief time back in Fort Worth with Dexter).  Thankfully she was here through the roughest part of recovery...you know moms, the part no one tells you about when you are pregnant the first time. = ) Thankfully I am recovering much better than I did with Dexter, probably due in large part to the awesome help I've had and that I know better than to push myself this time.

Dexter of course loved having Mimi here and has been asking for her, saying, "I miss Mimi" since she left. Thankfully we have Relief Team R (R for Ray!) coming Sunday! Tootsie, aka Sander's mom Tonya, will be here for a week and we are looking forward to her help a lot.

This week, Sander is taking his paternity leave and hanging out with us. Dexter and Sander went out to the Guild Shop and picked up the side table we bought Saturday and then went to Ikea to pick up the long-awaited Expedit bookshelf for the play area in the den.

Seriously, how cute are these pictures of them putting the shelf together? Dexter is giving a running commentary on every step they take and Sander is letting Dexter help a lot.  Have to say that I'm lucky I saw this guy coming when I was only 19...

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6 Years

Saturday, July 30th was our 6th anniversary. Sander and I didn't do much, seeing as I had a baby 2 weeks ago. My biggest accomplishment of the day was actually drying my hair and putting on eyeliner! We went to brunch and picked up a side table for the den at a second hand shop on the way home. Romantic for us!

It is amazing to think we have been together for this long. At times it feels like we should still be newlyweds, but we have left that designation in the dust (it's back there before baby #1 and house #2!). Ah yes...as my friend says, the days have been long but the years are short. We'll be celebrating our golden anniversary in no time at this pace.

At brunch we shared our traditional gift -- the anniversary letter. We give each other a letter each anniversary where we typically sum up the past year, the blessings and the challenges, and we love reading them to each other and then sticking them in a little album. One day it will be so special to read over these letters and remember what we loved about each other "back then" and what we love about each other now. Knowing that we are always changing, these letters help us celebrate the changes and embrace what stays the same. Maybe even our kids will read them someday, once we are gone that is...can't have them reading old love letters while you're still alive!

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From the Archives: Mom Guilt

Here is a post I wrote June 16th, 2009, when Dexter was one month old.  I thought it was good to remember at this early stage with Maxwell.  It is amazing what all I learned with Dexter...he certainly stretched me and broke me in as a first time mom.  Honestly, it is really refreshing to look back and realize that a lot of the guilt I felt with Dexter just isn't here with Maxwell.  Not that it won't rear its ugly head in new ways in the future...

Mom Guilt: Let Freedom Ring!

Tuesday, June 16

As a mom-to-be I of course read through as many recommended parenting books as I could find. I wanted to be the most prepared mom and these books promised me the 'best' way to do that. They promise contented babies who grow up to be responsible members of society...even the possibility they could sleep through the night by 4 weeks.

The old saying comes to mind: "if its too good to be true, it probably is."

Ok, not that these books don't all have some element of truth and helpful advice. Thanks for the new jiggle technique and the usefulness of white noise Happiest Baby; thanks for the benefits of following some sort of schedule Baby Wise; thanks for the E.A.S.Y. schedule Baby Whisperer. Each in their own way has helpful tips and has contributed to my overall understanding of mom techniques and how to relate to my newborn. But here is a warning - for my baby (and I am sure others) they don't even begin to solve all my problems. Additionally, I've come to realize these last few weeks, these books can also have a very negative effect on the first-time mom. Throw in postpartum blues, mom guilt, and a dash of isolation and you have the mix for the perfect storm.

Week 3 rolled around, my mom had left, and I was beginning to feel pretty confident doing this motherhood thing. I had my semi-schedule down, Dexter slept without a hitch between feedings, and he was more than content to be handed off to visitors whenever they stopped by. I figured I could be out and about in no time as I had the baby thing down. Then the screaming started. At first it would just be for a short time after eating and I figured it was a growth spurt. Just feed him a little more, he would drift off - problem solved. Then he started to wake up after 30min screaming. Hmmm...this was a little harder. Then began the 'discussions'. Should we feed him? No, he can't be hungry. But he won't stop screaming. Well, you know the book warns against feeding for every little thing. But he sounds like he is in pain - I want to help. Well, do you think feeding will help? Maybe we should just walk/shush/swaddle/etc more. Oh then came the guilt! Guilt that my baby is crying and I won't/can't help. Guilt I am creating a monster who will never 'self-soothe'. Guilt he'll never sleep through the night alone. Guilt he will only calm down now if I nurse him. Guilt, guilt, guilt.

The diagnosis came late that week (after days and nights of no sleep for everyone) when I finally called the doctor. Before then I thought, what do I say, my baby cries and I am such a bad mom I can't stop it? Waiting to see the doctor I had to wait in the atrium outside the office because Dexter screamed (big difference between whimpering and crying) the whole time. Patients walked by and looked on in horror. One dad had a stricken look on his face and asked, so how long has he been doing that? I was sweating I was so nervous. I was convinced they all thought I was some teen-age mom who had no clue how to hold/soothe my baby. I was sure they were thinking, didn't she read a book before she had this child? Anyway - the doctor was great and immediately said he thought it was probably a severe case of reflux. It was Friday, and he went so far to say that if I didn't see results soon then to take him to the emergency room as no baby should be screaming like he was for the length he was.

The doctor's diagnosis made me feel a mixture of relief and even more guilt. Relief that my suspicion something had to be hurting him was right (enough that the doctor suggested the emergency room for a full check up!), guilt that I waited all week to call the doctor. Turns out he slowly began to respond to the medicine and we now know for sure he has reflux. We're on the right course of treatment and are on the 6month (!!) waiting list to see a specialist.

But what about that guilt. Oh, it was still there. So, it's reflux - but that still doesn't tell me how to be a good mom. I had quite the pity party last week thinking I would never be able to be a good mom or able to work out a schedule that would allow me to leave the house. I was mad at the books, mad at the people who touted them as the perfect solution, and just mad that I didn't have it as easy as others. Then I realized, why am I relying so much on these books to fix everything? Why am I even trying to make the chart in the book become the main guide in my baby's life? What about prayer?

I know that the base knowledge I received from the books is coming into play as I have techniques to pray through (should I shush? should I white noise? should I wait 3 hours to feed him again?) but now I don't have to worry that Dexter doesn't fit the mold of the E.A.S.Y. child they promise. He is a baby with acid bathing his esophagus, but the Lord promises that "the grace of the Lord Jesus be with all."

Mistakes will be made. I know I will make the wrong decisions more times than not. I won't remember to pray nearly as often as I should. But, the guilt has no place in this new mom-son relationship. Hebrews 10:22 says we can come to the Lord to be washed of a guilty conscious. Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation/disapproval/guilt when we are guided by the Holy Spirit. Not too get too spiritual, but it really has been true these past few days. I feel content and peaceful when before I was just shy from freaking out.

Thanks for the advice books. You've been helpful and I will keep you on the shelf, but you can't and won't ever give me the full help I need.

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Sleep...or not

The last few days have been challenging to say the least.  This picture was taken on Sunday and shows sweet little Maxwell in the "Ray Baby" outfit.  All the Ray babies (Sander and his siblings) wore this as a baby.  Isn't that adorable?  He looks quite adorable in the nautical nightgown I think.  This also shows the last night he was sleeping peacefully.

Yes, reflux has reared its ugly head. = (  We had several sleepless nights and days as I watched Maxwell get increasingly more and more fussy.  He would doze off, only to write around and try and spit up.  This would go on and on until yesterday he barely slept at all.  The doctor was great and gave me some things to try, and after those failed, they called in Prevacid.  This is what Dexter was on for 8 months.  I am not thrilled to medicate such a little guy, but we are also trying Baby's Jarro-Dophilus and I have a chiropractic appointment for Monday.  Now, I would not go to just any chiropractor with my little one, but this one (Dr. Long at West U. Wellness) came highly recommended by the midwives at the Women's Specialist of Houston and she is specially trained for pediatric and pre-natal care.  SHe helped me so much while pregnant with Maxwell, so I hope she can help him as well and we can avoid the long, drawn-out sleep issues we had with Dexter.

So...hopefully I will be able to blog more with good news in the coming days.  I may re-post the blog I wrote 5 weeks after Dexter was born...seems appropriate once again.

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Big Brother!

Dexter is embracing his new role as "big brother"! Here he is wearing baby brother's hat. He ran around, very proud of himself. I love his enthusiasm and smile!

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Name Post -- Fail

Well, the "How Maxwell Got His Name" post got deleted.  Sander wrote it over several lunch breaks and put a lot of thought into it.  Then as we got it ready to upload last night, blogger began to freak out.  I said, "Hurry - cut and paste before they delete it"...this has happened before.  Just as he highlighted it all to cut, everything erased and then, oh so handy of blogger, it autosaved. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! 

So, the post will have to be re-written. 

Hang on for the update...

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Maxwell Album

Well, it's true. You take way less pictures of your second child. I haven't taken any pictures sine we got home Friday, so...nothing new to post. I'll try and take some tomorrow. Making sure Dexter feels included and resting for myself has occupied most of my time.

If you haven't noticed the link on the left, here is the link to our Picasa album.

Enjoy!

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Home!

 

We're home! It has been great to be home, away from the noise and constant stream of nursing staff at the hospital.

Maxwell had a little check-up today as well and is almost back to birth weight...8lbs 10oz!

Now...off to sleep.

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Comparison - Dexter and Maxwell

Many have asked, does baby Maxwell look at all like baby Dexter did when he was the same age?

Now it's your turn to decide --

Dexter - 1 day old

Maxwell - 1 day old (and 2lbs 4oz heavier)

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He Has a Name!

Drumroll please........................................

Welcome...

Maxwell Asher!!
 

We will have the full story behind his name as soon as we have a little more time.

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Baby Ray #2 Has Arrived!

At 1:45pm this Thursday afternoon, Baby Ray #2 made his entrance into the world (after 9 hours of active labor)! He is a whopping 8lbs 110z and 19in long...!  Quite a surprise to us all as Dexter was only 6lbs 7oz.  He has just a little fuzz for hair, but it looks to be red like his brother's.

We are still working on a name, so stay tuned.

Getting weighed.

Meeting new baby brother for the first time.  It was a really sweet time!  Dexter seemed in awe of him and gave him a few kisses and asked to help feed him.  If only he could help there...= )

Proud daddy!

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Book surprise

First...no, no baby yet.  Full moon on Friday, please don't dissapoint me.

Ok, now on to the post.

As you know, I LOVE Design*Sponge.  I read it every day, have used their rooms as inspiration at my new house, and have used many of their DIY project tutorials.

And now...they have a book!  I love the blog and love that it is always changing, but something about me just really wants to hold and have a little bit of that in print.  I am super excited that the book looks beautiful on the outside as well as the inside.  I went ahead and pre-ordered it today on Amazon, so that come September, I can be surprised by a package at the door.  By that point I will be deep in baby-dom and will have probably lost half my brain, so it should be a great surprise. 

Looking forward to nursing and perusing these pages soon...

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Labor...oh wait, no...

**UPDATE: My good friend who is also seeing the midwives in the med center had her baby this morning! I told Sander last night, "wouldn't it be cool if Sue and I had our baby at the same time?" Boo hoo for me. It would be so fun to roll over to her room and share baby birthday celebrations together. I guess I have a few hours to go, but I don't feel a twinge in that direction...**

I thought this would be me today.  A sweet 7/11/11 baby hand clasped in mine.  But no.  At least, not yet...

Last night around 10pm I started having contractions that reminded me a lot of the ones I had the morning I went into labor with Dexter.  They were long and forced me to really relax and breathe deeply.  I waited an hour before calling the midwife, and guess who was on call?  My FAVORITE midwife that I have been praying would be on call when I went into labor.  (In case you don't know, I see a group of 5 midwives, all of whom are very capable and great, but I do have my favorites.  You deliver with whoever is on call the day you go into labor)

Well, almost as soon as I talked to her, the contractions began to decrease.  I didn't want to believe it.  I had already lost a lot of sleep for the night and didn't want to take a sleeping pill in case I really did end up in labor.  So, I ended up not really sleeping at all last night.

And for those who have gone through natural labor...it is a mind game and an entire body and soul process.  So, to get my head and heart ready for what lay ahead and THEN find out it was all a false alarm...ugh.  I am all about sprinting too.  Once I see the goal, I can run for it with everything I have.  But when something drags on and I can't see the end, I tend to loose steam and get discouraged.   

I do believe this baby will come at the right time, with the right midwife on duty.  But, I am disappointed today...

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Prudent Baby's New Backyard

This video was just on Design*Sponge and it has totally inspired me.  Deep down I think I'm really a bohemian at heart...I long to live in Santa Fe, make fabric garlands for every wall in my house, and just lounge with friends and babies about me! 

Anyway, watch the cute, cute video above and and dream about living someplace you can venture outdoors in the summer.  I am.

Plus, I am really liking her blog Prudent Baby.  Enjoy!

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Amazon: A Pregnant Woman's Best Friend

My massive weekend shopping spree on amazon arrived today. Ok, when I say shopping spree, I mean items like: 2 year old birthday party presents, a sitz bath (oh...the glamour!), and a business book for Sander. BUT, the best thing is I was able to buy each item as it came to mind without one single stop in a store. No packing up my toddler, loading him in and out of the car in the heat, and no lugging my very pregnant self around to multiple stores that may or may not have what I want.

Oh Amazon...I love thee and prime shipping!

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Yesterday to Today

Yesterday my son looked like this.

Today he is curled up on my lap with a high fever. He looks too pitiful to take a picture.

What a difference a day makes.

Praying that this passes quickly (there is word of a 24hour high-fever thing going around the nursery at church), without being passed on to mommy or daddy...and that it passes before baby #2 decides to make his arrival.

Oh boy...

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Sunglasses and Pirates

Dexter is embracing his sunglasses...after about 4 months!  At first he would on;y wear them for about 3 seconds.  Now, he is wearing them with joy and trying to "looky sun".  We told him to not look at the sun since he kept complaining it was in his eyes, now he giggles at us and tries to crane his head around to "looky sun".  Oh my...  And notice he is clutching a Lightning McQueen in his hand?  A Car's character is never far from this guy's reach.

Dexter has really been into these pirate books lately and has been pretending he is a pirate by saying "arghhh".  It is hilarious.  Here is a video of him in Ft Worth entertaining his cousin and aunt with his pirate-ness.  More on his trip up to DFW soon.

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For the Crafty but Busy Mommy

So, every now and then I share a post from a blog that I hope encourages you, like it did/does me.  So, here is a link to the original blog post from a Bit of Sunshine.  Here is her follow up post that is as good as the original.

So, fellow moms, be encouraged!

Monday, February 21, 2011

make something monday :: project fail

Yes it's true friends, fail.

And that is so how I have been feeling the past few days too so it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me that my attempt at crafting this week was going to end in a disastrous mess.

It was most likely during one of our middle of the night deliriums that I came up with the idea to take one of Mr. Gough's ugly white tank tops and snip it apart into some gorgeous redone frock to impress you with. Yes I am most certain now that it was in the middle of the night...in between me using some naughty words while listening to our four month old struggle, again...I blame it on sleep deprivation...but that is what I had planned to do.

And so it was yesterday morning that I set out to spend about thirty minutes of precious alone time and come up with a project to share with you. The old under t-shirt in hand, down to my studio, I escaped. I did snip and sew and even added a cute little doily and buttons to the tank top, but the fact of the matter was that this little frock was originally a Calvin Klein size large white under shirt and the finish piece basically looks like a boat neck tunic for a full sized man. It's HUGE..so sad.

Just about the time I realized that my project was a fail Josie started screaming again. I had used up my precious moments and now the harsh reality of my life at the moment was there reminding me that I had other things to do and needed to leave and get back to work. Every ounce of deep perfectionism inside of me begged me to come up with a new craft for today's feature. My mind was racing with other projects to throw together - but then it hit me. The Lord spoke to my heart, this failed shirt was a much needed reminder of the real reason behind why I create.

When Chris asked me what I was going to share today with you I told him about the little craft I had come up with but how it had turned into a disastrous mess. He laughed and said that I needed to tell you all about it instead of making something different..then he offered to try on the shirt. We laughed - hard...I considered showing you a photo but used my better judgment. But your lucky because like I said I haven't slept much.

I have been asked repeatedly lately about how I manage to find the time to be crafty and blog about my little world with three kids at home, a new baby and all. It is a hard question to answer but I will do my best. The reason I find the time is because it is so desperately important to me. To be able to maintain some amount of me in my life is so critical during this hazy season of sleepless nights and busy days.

Right now if you were to come over to my house I bet you would be shocked at how messy it is. My boys spent the night with Nana and Papa over the weekend and I literally had no clean jammies OR clean pants to send with..like fifteen loads of laundry need to be done here folks. Today I took my first shower in five days and my baby cried the entire time. I served oatmeal for dinner one night last week in my sweats. It was not hot but Mr. Gough made berry smoothies to go with which was pretty hot to me..my four year old has nightmares and doesn't sleep, my four month old projectile vomits 30 times a day, no exaggeration because I have to count...Chris and I argue, were tired and dirty, we have no clue how we will make ends meet. My life has the potential of strangling me to death. You can relate?

This is why I so desperately need to create. I want to show up for my life each day and seek out the beauty that is there even if it is hiding it is always there. If I hide it away and wait for the perfect time or place to pour my heart and soul into making things even if it is only five minutes a day then I will miss out on all that God has for me right now..but let's get something straight no one is perfect especially not me. All I am good for is showing up and hoping that amidst the chaos and exhaustion I will also find an outlet to maintain a deep passion for crafting.

So this is a picture of the shirt I made. Hidden underneath a favorite sweater and belt it doesn't look all that bad I guess (the tricky art of making things look good in a photo). It reminds me that make something monday doesn't always have to mean a glossy perfect picture of how to whip up something fabulous on a dime. It means making something with all that you are, whatever you have to give bring that. Show up and experiment, play around with the crazy idea swirling in your head. No pressure just some time for yourself. Make a cup of tea and put it in your favorite pretty cup. Put on some earrings and make yourself feel beautiful because you are. Make yourself lunch today not just the scraps leftover on your kids plates. Print out some photos that you took and make a display for others to see them. Make time for yourself, even if it is only thirty minutes and it doesn't turn out just the way you planned make some time to do something that fills you up.

The truth of the matter is that while I was making my recycled amazingly fabulous doily man frock I was in absolute heaven and no amount of failed projects can ever take away that feeling of satisfaction that comes from attempting to make something more from what I have been given.

So it is Monday friends lets make it good.

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Stars and Stripes Banner and Flag Cake

AGHHH!  How cute is this?? 

Here is the tutorial from Rebekah at A Bit of Sunshine.  I don't have the time to make it this year...for obvious reasons, but I am making this for next year for sure.  I love that she shows what brand of paint chips she uses and what size font she used...she took the guesswork out!

I am also planning on making this cake from Glorious Treats...next year...:

Could be really fun to do with kids and a great option for those "bake-off" contests.  I think the wow factor when you cut into the cake would be awesome.  You could use a from-scratch cake recipe that makes 3 8" layer cakes and change the recipe for that...just an idea. 

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Product and Process

Ta da!!  Something is on the walls (THANKS mom!!)!  This is a quick pic of my dining room wall.  I found everything at MAMS, The Guild Shop, or Goodwill.  Oh...the frame was a gift from a dear friend though.  Still deciding what picture I should display...

Here is the "process".  Everything on the floor here (or almost everything...not the plane and mirror) will go up my stairwell.  Somewhat inspired by Young House Love's collage wall but not as intense ... and probably not as cohesive.  Oh well.  I really pared down the ridiculous amount of pictures we had spanning from our first year of marriage until now.  I'd like to change out some of the frames as the styles aren't all what I love now, but I think I will just slap them up now and change them as we go.  I envision switching out some of the travel pics for pictures of the kids as they grow.  Should be a fun work in progress.  Now, to just get this mess off my floor and up on the wall...

Here is the growing give-away pile (hooooray!).  Not that I hate anything that is in there, I am just being realistic and trying to stick with the motto: Live with what you love, get rid of the rest.  I have been holding on to things that I don't just love because it was "nice" or because "maybe I can use it somewhere in the future".  Nope.  Done with that. 

Ok, about that stock picture in the frame.  Are you kind of weirded out by it too?  I couldn't decide if it was a daughter and her dad, or a marriage between the generations pic.  Was a little too American Gothic for me -- you know, where the picture is of a dad and daughter and things just aren't right there?  Ok, maybe just I think of that, but I did take a senior seminar on the Gothic genre...didn't everyone?

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