Pipkin is gone!
Poor Rumkin, pictured above, is now friendless. Pipkin, perhaps motivated by that homewrecker Travelosity gnome, has taken off too see the world. We hope that he is doing well and wasn't forced by some evil person to write the letter pictured below.
Here is the note Pipkin left. Please let us know if you see him around.
Birthday Update
The delicious cake Sander made...mmm. It turned out so well. A definite must make again. We had a great day celebrating as a family. Dexter really had fun.
In fact, he partied so hard that he just crashed in his crib, hat and all.
Favorite Phone Pics
Thursday, September 3
I just uploaded a few pics from my phone and these are my 2 favs. The bottom one is Dexter looking at himself in the mirror. It appears he's a budding narcissist...
Sander's Making Me a Cake!
Monday, August 31
In honor of my 26th birthday Sander took it upon himself to make me a cake. He came home, leafed through the cook book (he tried to keep it a secret...didn't work) and chose the "Old Fashioned Chocolate Layer Cake" from our America's Test Family Kitchen cook book. Nothing has dissapointed us yet, so I have high hopes for this made-from-scratch creation. Yea Sander - I can't wait to have it tomorrow.
I love my bear
Thursday, August 27
Dexter loves his little bear. But only when it's time to change his diaper.
So, weeks ago every time we would change his diaper Dexter would scream, scream, and scream some more. I read somewhere that some babies like a little weight on their tummy while they are on their back so, I grabbed the closest thing I could find, a little stuffed bear. It worked like a charm. Most of the time he just mouths it or, as Sander so charmingly describes the wet event, he makes out with it. He seems shocked that we want to photograph him and the bear's private moment...
This weekend we have more family coming down. The Andrews side will be here in its entirety to celebrate Meredith's baby shower and the upcoming birthdays. After that, we have the Ray grandparents Tootzie(/Tootsie/Tootzi...I can't remember how we decided to spell it...) and Pop at various times during the next week.
Amidst all of that I am trying to implement a new routine. It isn't a schedule (no set times for events), just an order of events. It has worked so much better for me than a strict schedule - yea! With a schedule I would always gets discouraged when an event didn't fit within the time frame allotted. Now my routine just revolves around Dexter's eating schedule. Within each 2.5 hour of non-feeding time I do a set order of events each day. Some take longer than others some days, but it doesn't matter as long as I finish all the tasks before Dexter eats again. So, with that said, I better scamper off and do the dishes, fold the laundry, put on my make-up and do my hair. I just have 1hour 30min before he eats again!
If you've read this far, you have to know about an awesome place we found on a recent visit by my parents. Becker Books is located in an old house at 7405 Westview Dr. You get lost in room after room of old books. It is definitely a place you go when you want to search, but it has been well worth it each visit I've made. I especially love the vintage children's and young adult books since I grew up reading them myself. Let me know if you want to go sometime; a rainy afternoon would be the perfect time.
Poems and Prayers for the Very Young
Monday, August 17
I have an old copy of Poems and Prayers for the Very Young that I just happened to pull out and set beside the rocking chair in Dexter's room this weekend. Today, when Dexter began his usual tired fuss I began my routine of covering his face and walking around the room to calm him down. But, today he just wouldn't relax. So, I sat down in the chair, usually a big no-no, and decided to read a few poems, even if he wanted to cry and kick. The first poem didn't seem to have an effect, but by the third he had stopped kicking, and by a few more he was sound asleep. I tried it again this afternoon when the fussiness started again. Yep. Success.
When I was home last my mom had set out my baby book and this book was listed as one of my favorites. There must be something about the lilt of lullabies and children's poetry that really does have a calming effect on babies. Every language has lullabies, so there has to be something to it. Well, they certainly work on Dexter and they are quite pleasant and inspiring to read on my end. Here is my favorite:
A Child's Prayer
God, make my life a little light,
Within the world to glow;
A little flame that burneth bright,
Wherever I may go.God, make my life a little flower,
That giveth joy to all;
Content to bloom in native bower,
Although the place be small.God, make my life a little song,
That comforteth the sad,
That helpeth others to be strong,
And makes the singer glad.
-M Betham-Edwards
The latest and greatest
Monday, August 10
A friend asked me today what has surprised me most after having Dexter. I told her I really didn't know as the past 3 months have just flown by without a lot of time for reflection. Perhaps I have been surprised most by how hard post-labor has been. I took classes, spent lots of time visualizing and preparing for labor, but I didn't really do much to prepare for the new baby phase. Looking back there was probably no way I could have prepared for the cocktail of craziness that the first 2 months became. Screaming. Sleep deprivation. Extreme sleep deprivation. Pain. No sleep. Emotions. No sleep. Wait - did I mention no sleep?
Month 3 looks like it will be the best yet. Dexter has started sleeping much more regularly - sometimes 8 hours at a stretch (Hooooooray!). Oh, the bliss. We have worked out a good schedule as well which has resulted in a smiling awake baby and longer nap times. Schedulewise I have done what babycenter.com calls the "combination approach" - it is half parent directed and half baby directed. I think it is just common sense. He eats, we play, he gets red eyes and sleepy so I put him down, he wakes up, repeat. If he doesn't get sleepy right at 45mins of play time, I wait until he is sleepy to put him down. If he is sleepy after 15min of play time, I put him down then. Now, there are times he has to fuss a little to put himself to sleep, but after awhile I will go in, reassure him with a little hug - then he is immediately off to sleep. It is quite a comforting routine for me and him.
As the pictures below indicate, Dexter was dedicated this Sunday. He couldn't have behaved better - he even smiled at the pastor as he introduced him to the congregation. For those of you not familiar with a dedication service, here is the gist. Sander and I brought Dexter up in front of the church. There the pastor introduced Dexter Eliot to the church and talked about what his name meant. Then Sander and I answered a few questions from the pastor. We stated to the church. that we were 1)followers of Christ, 2)would raise Dexter according to our beliefs, 3)that we, as best as we understand it at this time, will give Dexter over to God's purposes and not to what we want him to be. Then, our family that was there stood and the pastor prayed for Dexter. It was a sweet time.
Our pastor, as he introduced the baby dedication time mentioned a passage of the Bible where a woman who was unable to have children miraculously conceives a baby after praying to the Lord. Her response was to give her baby over to the Lord. She says: "For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him. Therefore I have lent him to the LORD. As long as he lives, he is lent to the LORD." That has been my prayer through pregnancy and it was really cool that our pastor brought it up on Sunday.
Be sure and check out our complete album of pictures by clicking the "our pictures" tab above - I am adding more all the time.
Dedication Outfit
Saturday, August 8
I finally finished Dexter's dedication outfit. It was the first thing I made with my new pattern making skills. I used an outfit a friend loaned me - I traced it out and then adjusted it up a size, complete with a drafted sleeve. Yea! Now I am really back...yes!
Since I made a dedication outfit he obviously is going to be dedicated. That happens this Sunday. More details soon.
Click here for the full post after the jump…2 Months
Thursday, July 23
What a difference from his 1 month picture! He is smiling, interacting, and even holding his head up a bit. What a cutie. I am so thankful to be home with him to see all the subtle changes. Each day he seems to do something new and different. He has found his hands and will often suck (loudly) on his fist if a pacifier isn't around. I don't know why I think this is so adorable. If I saw a 20 year old doing it I would think it was gross, but in a 2 month old, melts your heart!
Dexter is still having trouble sleeping through the night. A few rare nights he's slept 7 hours (hooray!), but mostly the longest he'll go is 5. Ugh. As the night continues he will just get more and more congested and that will keep him awake even though his is exhausted. I've ordered a Tucker Sling (http://www.tuckersling.com/) and it should be here tomorrow. I'll keep you updated on its success. I have high, high hopes. Sleep is worth any amount of money at this point!
This week I have been frantically cleaning out every closet, cabinet, and shelf trying to rid myself of the excess clutter we have accumulated in the past 4 years. I read a magazine article entitled "Live With What You Love, Get Rid of the Rest". I think that's a fabulous idea and since I couldn't 'nest' before Dexter came due to bed rest, I am doing it all this week. Now, if you know me, you know I have trouble staying focused unless there is an award at the end. So, we have been talking about getting a smaller canon for my purse so I can take pics out and about. We decided we wouldn't buy it unless I finished everything by 1pm Saturday. I am well on my way and just have the hall closet and the dreaded sewing room left. It feels so good to get rid of the excess stuff...I can't wait to be done!
Click here for the full post after the jump…
Boerne
Sunday, July 19
Well, we just got back from our weekend in Boerne. The weekend away was fun, but very different with a baby in tow. I'll post more soon, but feel free to check out the new pics by clicking the "our pictures" tab above. I've updated the 4th of July folder, as well as the Smiles album.
Enjoy!
Dexter Update
Monday, July 6
He sounds like a dinosaur doesn't he? = )
(Click 'our pictures' above to see the latest pics and videos)
The best development of all has been his smile (been doing that a few weeks) and his laugh (new this week!). He has been smiling and half laughing as he drifted off to sleep for a little over a week, but yesterday when we came home was the first time he really laughed for us. Today, as I walked past his bouncer with laundry I heard a noise and looked down and he was kicking at his toys and laughing again. Yippie!!!!! Our little boy may actually be a happy baby!
Also a plus, he slept from midnight to 5am last night, napped at home today, AND slept in the car(a first here in Houston!).
To celebrate I'm baking another loaf of bread!
Click here for the full post after the jump…I'm Back Babies!
Sunday, July 5
Our Sunday school class is bursting at the seams with new babies. Dexter was the 4th baby boy of 7 due this year - AND a girl AND a set of twins are due this fall (total baby count for 2009 for our not-so-big class: 10). Whew. With all those babies there are lots of parents in need of meals. I am up for a meal delivery tomorrow and decided to dust off that Kitchen Aid mixer and bake some bread. As I wait for it too cool off I thought I'd leave a quick post. Oh man, can I cut into this loaf now? Would it be odd to get half a loaf of bread with your meal?
I am SO excited to finally be up and cooking. Its been a long 6 months with bed rest and a newborn.
Ok, this bread smells awesome. I am seriously considering making the switch from store bought bread to fresh baked...let's see how long this kick lasts.
The smile
Saturday, June 27
My last couple of posts have been a bit down. I still feel a little sad that we all have to deal with the hardships of reflux, but I would like to pass on some of the brighter moments of the last few weeks.
No, Dexter isn't anywhere near sleeping through the night, but Monday he did sleep from 9:30pm-2:30am! It was wonderful. Last night he slept from 11pm-3am. The rest of the time he only goes 3 hours from one feeding to the next, and may or may not sleep, but he did sleep longer those two times...it is possible! The other good news is he mostly falls asleep after eating at night. During the day he will refuse to sleep, but at least we are both getting a little more sleep at night. Yippie!
He is also progressing along and has begun to smile this week! Dexter really and truly smiled at Sander and I for the first time Monday. Since he has really responded to our voices and has even turned and smiled a couple of times when he hears us. What a wonderful change! For me it is such an encouragement as week after week he only screamed - it takes its toll on your emotions for sure. To see him smile and respond positivly when he sees/hears me is just a joy. I can't wait to see more of this!
Check out our album above for updated pictures. I usually update the picture albums more than I post here.
Doesn't he look funny! These are taken mid-smile. I love it...hahaha
Mom Guilt: Let Freedom Ring!
Tuesday, June 16
As a mom-to-be I of course read through as many recommended parenting books as I could find. I wanted to be the most prepared mom and these books promised me the 'best' way to do that. They promise contented babies who grow up to be responsible members of society...even the possibility they could sleep through the night by 4 weeks.
The old saying comes to mind: "if its too good to be true, it probably is."
Ok, not that these books don't all have some element of truth and helpful advice. Thanks for the new jiggle technique and the usefulness of white noise Happiest Baby; thanks for the benefits of following some sort of schedule Baby Wise; thanks for the E.A.S.Y. schedule Baby Whisperer. Each in their own way has helpful tips and has contributed to my overall understanding of mom techniques and how to relate to my newborn. But here is a warning - for my baby (and I am sure others) they don't even begin to solve all my problems. Additionally, I've come to realize these last few weeks, these books can also have a very negative effect on the first-time mom. Throw in postpartum blues, mom guilt, and a dash of isolation and you have the mix for the perfect storm.
Week 3 rolled around, my mom had left, and I was beginning to feel pretty confident doing this motherhood thing. I had my semi-schedule down, Dexter slept without a hitch between feedings, and he was more than content to be handed off to visitors whenever they stopped by. I figured I could be out and about in no time as I had the baby thing down. Then the screaming started. At first it would just be for a short time after eating and I figured it was a growth spurt. Just feed him a little more, he would drift off - problem solved. Then he started to wake up after 30min screaming. Hmmm...this was a little harder. Then began the 'discussions'. Should we feed him? No, he can't be hungry. But he won't stop screaming. Well, you know the book warns against feeding for every little thing. But he sounds like he is in pain - I want to help. Well, do you think feeding will help? Maybe we should just walk/shush/swaddle/etc more. Oh then came the guilt! Guilt that my baby is crying and I won't/can't help. Guilt I am creating a monster who will never 'self-soothe'. Guilt he'll never sleep through the night alone. Guilt he will only calm down now if I nurse him. Guilt, guilt, guilt.
The diagnosis came late that week (after days and nights of no sleep for everyone) when I finally called the doctor. Before then I thought, what do I say, my baby cries and I am such a bad mom I can't stop it? Waiting to see the doctor I had to wait in the atrium outside the office because Dexter screamed (big difference between whimpering and crying) the whole time. Patients walked by and looked on in horror. One dad had a stricken look on his face and asked, so how long has he been doing that? I was sweating I was so nervous. I was convinced they all thought I was some teen-age mom who had no clue how to hold/soothe my baby. I was sure they were thinking, didn't she read a book before she had this child? Anyway - the doctor was great and immediately said he thought it was probably a severe case of reflux. It was Friday, and he went so far to say that if I didn't see results soon then to take him to the emergency room as no baby should be screaming like he was for the length he was.
The doctor's diagnosis made me feel a mixture of relief and even more guilt. Relief that my suspicion something had to be hurting him was right (enough that the doctor suggested the emergency room for a full check up!), guilt that I waited all week to call the doctor. Turns out he slowly began to respond to the medicine and we now know for sure he has reflux. We're on the right course of treatment and are on the 6month (!!) waiting list to see a specialist.
But what about that guilt. Oh, it was still there. So, it's reflux - but that still doesn't tell me how to be a good mom. I had quite the pity party last week thinking I would never be able to be a good mom or able to work out a schedule that would allow me to leave the house. I was mad at the books, mad at the people who touted them as the perfect solution, and just mad that I didn't have it as easy as others. Then I realized, why am I relying so much on these books to fix everything? Why am I even trying to make the chart in the book become the main guide in my baby's life? What about prayer?
I had been/am so overwhelmed with lack of sleep, lack of time with others, and lack of time reading the Bible (too busy with my other, easier books) that I didn't even know where to begin with prayer. But why not just start. So, as of this weekend, I began to try and pray with each cry. What do I do now Lord? Should I really feed him, should I shush him, maybe just set him down and walk away? A lot of times I feel like I am getting answers - huge relief there - and with those answers comes a HUGE amount of peace. No more guilt that I am screwing my child up for life, now I can do whatever I feel led to do at the time with the peace that God will work it out as we go.
I know that the base knowledge I received from the books is coming into play as I have techniques to pray through (should I shush? should I white noise? should I wait 3 hours to feed him again?) but now I don't have to worry that Dexter doesn't fit the mold of the E.A.S.Y. child they promise. He is a baby with acid bathing his esophagus, but the Lord promises that "the grace of the Lord Jesus be with all."
Mistakes will be made. I know I will make the wrong decisions more times than not. I won't remember to pray nearly as often as I should. But, the guilt has no place in this new mom-son relationship. Hebrews 10:22 says we can come to the Lord to be washed of a guilty conscious. Romans 8:1 says there is no condemnation/disapproval/guilt when we are guided by the Holy Spirit. Not too get too spiritual, but it really has been true these past few days. I feel content and peaceful when before I was just shy from shaking my baby.
Thanks for the advice books. You've been helpful and I will keep you on the shelf, but you can't and won't ever give me the full help I need.
Dexter...the "colic" myth
Tuesday, June 9
Many of you have wondered why we haven't posted more or why we don't have new pictures. The reason we don't is Dexter began about a week and a half ago to fuss more than normal. Each day got a little worse, till he began to scream uncontrollably - nothing would sooth him. All last week I thought I was doing something wrong - maybe I wasn't scheduling well enough, or maybe I should feed on demand; maybe my milk was bad; maybe I didn't know how to hold and soothe as well as I should. On and on it went till we broke down after a horrible night, called the pediatrician and got immediately. That was Friday. Dexter cooperated and screamed the whole time we were at the Dr. People in the waiting room looked on in horror/sympathy and asked "how long has he been doing that?" Others have said, "I've been around a lot of infants and never heard one scream like that for that long." All things to make a new mom feel great about her abilities.
The Dr. diagnosed Dexter with a severe case of reflux. He isn't spitting up, but you can tell he is dealing with a lot of reflux that only comes up to his esophagus. The reason he never sleeps and can't be soothed is his little throat is on fire due to the acid wearing away the lining. It is so sad, but so hard for me. He refuses to sit in any of his seats, but then is only marginally happy in my arms. He will arch his back, make white-knuckled fists, grunt, stretch his legs out...anything but rest comfortably in my arms. He will go three feeding cycles sometimes before falling asleep, only to start waking up an hour later with grunts as he refluxes every 3-5min. I am so tired and emotionally I am a wreak. To hear your baby cry in pain for so long is killing me.
We want to see a specialist, but the waiting list is 6months long. We may get bumped up, but may not.
It is hard for me to not feel like something has been taken from us too. I won't have a special time with my first-born it feels like, as every second he is awake is painful for him. Each day there are usually only two 10-15min periods he is awake and peaceful - I savor them and try to enjoy them as much as possible. I thought we would have lots of sweet cuddle times and that I would be able to easily transition into life with a baby. After being on bed rest for so long I was really looking forward to the freedom of having him. This isn't the case and I am so sad...
Maybe the next blog will be more positive. I probably just need a little sleep.
Dexter's got a sweet ride
Wednesday, June 3
So, the last week has been pretty difficult. We have our good moments and are bad. I think the sleep deprevation has caught up with me and ... more to come. I am being forced to turn off the computer and go take a nap.
OK Victoria...I'm going...!
Friday, May 29
Here is Dexter swinging away in his awesome new swing - thanks Perlsteins, Aris, and Doodle!
Dexter's First Gift
Dexter likes to kick back and enjoy a good nap. He sleeps with his hands up behind his head a lot...much like his daddy. I thought this picture was too cute and showed off his older baby tendencies.
Also, showing off his "older" tendencies - Dexter snuck out this week and bought me a bottle of wine. Strange right? Who would have thought a baby could manage that.
Isn't the label great? He certainly knows me!
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