Say "aggggghhhh"!
If you have been around me long, you know that I LOVE Cook's Illustrated. Not just I love them because they make me happy. Nope, its the kind of love that I put my whole trust in, the whole shebang. Honestly, I should just marry them...
But seriously, they have the best recipes. They always have paragraphs and paragraphs explaining why they chose what they chose for their "best" recipe. I love this because you learn so much with each recipe that I have been able to use when I branch out and try my own combinations. Like for this granola, they made a huge (and scientific!) point about why some fat is required for really good granola. This way I know that any recipe I try later needs to have some oil in it, or I will have dry, dusty oats.
Oh, I could go on and on.
Below is the recipe for those interested. But really, you should all go out and buy a book or two (I love the books the magazine publishes at the end of every year with the whole year's worth of recipes, or the "Best" series). These cookbooks read like real books, which I of course love.
And Miffle knows, and Toffle knows, that both have seen the endI thought as I rubbed Dexter's back that perhaps this is how many toddlers feel? The world is overwhelming and full of fearful things, and sometimes the way they act looks like it is out of line to adult eyes, but really what if they are just crying out for a companion to comfort them? It takes discernment to know what time correction is needed and what time comfort is needed, but yesterday I knew it was time for comfort.
Of fear and fright and long dark night, now each has found a friend
You can see Dexter wasn't thrilled about having his picture taken. It's also much colder than I anticipated. But were out and we're committed now!
You can see Dexter wasn't thrilled about having his picture taken. It's also much colder than I anticipated. But were out and we're committed now!
The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo is almost here, but I am honestly not a huge fan. It is HUGE, glitzy, and not quite like the authentic FAA Stock Show experience you get at the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo.
Here are a few Fort Worth Rodeo facts:
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6 months and the personality starts to show! Maxwell is such a happy guy who loves to just be around his family, especially Dexter. He shrieks with delight whenever he sees Dexter after being away, say after nap. I usually pick up Maxwell first and then go into Dexter's room if he is awake. Maxwell may smile at me, but he shrieks and grins for Dexter. And Dexter responds with so much love. He will ask, "where's Maxwell?", "Is Maxwell coming?","I want to sit by Maxwell".
It makes this mommy's heart so happy to see her son's friendship growing!
Maxwell always wants to see what is going on too. He arches his back if he can't see and will just grin, upside down, at whoever or whatever is behind him. He is also quite the wiggle worm on the changing table. Not sure if Dexter;s girth kept him more immobile, or if we just have an extra active little guy on our hands.
Since I was pregnant with Dexter I have been thinking about what type of education I would most like my child(ren) to have. I know, I'm a big nerd, but stay with me here.
My ultimate goal, I said, was that my child would have a lifetime love of learning. I wasn't sure, and am still not fully sure, if that means public or private school, Classical or homeschool, but I am absolutely sure that if it doesn't foster and build a love of learning in my child, then it just isn't best for our child.
Dorthy Sayers has an excellent article about Classical Education, called The Lost Tools of Learning, that I highly recommend reading. I am really compelled by some of the issues she brings up, but for her, education doesn't start until age 6+.
That's where Montessori comes in for me. Maria Montessori originally came up with her philosophy of education in studying methods that were successful with some of Italy's poorest children. What she found was that intelligence wasn't dependent on income or family structure, but instead found that all young children had the capacity to be naturally curious and, if set free in the right environment with the right boundaries, then every child had the ability to learn and to acquire a love of learning.
Click here for the full post after the jump…Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:
An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."
Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.
I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.
I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.
And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.
Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."
At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."
That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.
There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"
I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.
Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?
That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.
Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"
My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.
But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:
"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."
Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.
Here's what does work for me:
There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.
Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.
Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is so beautiful. Kairos.
Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.
Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.
These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.
If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.
Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.
Good enough for me.
The last few weeks haven't been the easiest. But today I said "no" to errands, meeting up with friends, or anything that would take me out of the house or would keep me too busy to really play with the kids. We've read a million books, built train tracks, made pretend cakes, and done a million other little things this morning.
The highlight was watching the two boys play this morning. It started with Dexter blowing raspberries to Maxwell. Maxwell would laugh so hard each time Dexter blew his spit bubbles and that just encouraged Dexter to keep it up. Here is what I caught on camera (how lucky was I that it was right next to us? This never happens!)
God has been awesomely at work in many around me including one of my good friends, Whitney Ray. She has become a part of the Noonday team which works to eliminate poverty and encourage adoption through US sales. What began as a way to raise money for a Ugandan adoption in Austin, TX has blossomed under God's guidance.That's the awesome thing about Noonday Collection. It is using something as fun and accessible as jewelry and accessories as a platform for great change!
“If you turn back your foot from the Sabbath,
from doing your pleasure on my holy day,
and call the Sabbath a delight
and the holy day of the LORD honorable;
if you honor it, not going your own ways,
or seeking your own pleasure, or talking idly;
then you shall take delight in the LORD,
and I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;
I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father,
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.”
(Isaiah 58:13-14 ESV)
My computer refuses to upload videos, but I got my phone to upload this video we took of Maxwell this weekend! I was a little confused about the year...2009, 2012, whatever!
Enjoy!
Signs Of Proprioceptive Dysfunction:
If they are under responsive to proprioceptive input (i.e. sensory seeking) they will...walk to hard, push too hard, bang too hard write too hard, play with objects too hard, etc. be the loud ones, rough ones, crashers, movers, shakers, runners, jumpers, and bouncers (i.e. an insatiable bundle of energy!)
Um, yes! And it explains the obsession with the pacifier too!play too rough (often hurting himself or others), jump off of or crash into ANYTHING he can
crack his knuckles, chew on his fingers, bite his nails until they bleed, chew on pens, gum, pencils, clothing collars, sleeves, or strings, or inedible objects (i.e. paper clips, pieces of toys etc.)
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