Being the Mommy

(Picture from the archives...Dec. 2009)

Tonight, I just had the sweetest time with little Dexter. He has had an ear infection and just not been himself. He perked up tonight and was playing like normal, but getting him to bed was a little difficult.  He kept calling for me and then started to ask to sit in the purple chair with me.  He has never asked that before, and at first I thought he just wanted to play more.  So, I said no, and left, but he kept asking.  I went back in and this time said yes, picked him up, and leaned back in the chair.  As soon as I did he flumped his head onto my shoulder and snuggled in.  Wow, I thought.  This NEVER happens.  My little boy is just that, a boy.  He runs, jumps, plays, and yells...he doesn't snuggle.  Tonight he did.  He tossed and turned a little trying to find the perfect spot with me on the chair, but I loved ever second.  I smelled his sweet head (that smells more baby-like now that I have a new shampoo) and it gave me a chance to think back over his first year and dream about the new little boy on the way.

I thought about when I was pregnant with Dexter.  I knew nothing about what he would be like.  I didn't even know if he would be born healthy or super, super early.  Then in those first months (ok...those first EIGHT months) I wondered if Dexter would ever sleep or stop crying.  Now he laughs more than he cries and is one tough little man.

Now I feel like I know so much about him and who he is becoming, and he is only just two.  Soon, we will be holding our new baby, Dexter's little brother, in our arms and getting to know him.  This time I hope that I won't be as worried about things like "am I a good mom? will he ever sleep? will I ever sleep again?" and instead savor the moments where they snuggle their head down and feel safe, calm, and comforted by my presence.

That was tonight, and I want to remember it.